So, I was completely nervous going into this holiday weekend. Why? Because Easter was my first holiday that celebrates with food since my weight loss surgery. Well, there was St. Patrick’s day, but it was easy to forgo the potatoes and focus on the protein. Oh, but yesterday’s spread, let me tell you, there was so much delicious smelling and looking foods that I wanted to dive into…but I didn’t, and I am SO proud of myself. It might not be that big of a deal for most people, but today I am totally holding my head a little higher and feeling more confident!
Last week I met with my counselor and she kept drilling it in me that FOOD IS FUEL. Yea ok, that is not an easy thing to retrain a fat girl mind to believe. Food is supposed to taste good, be delicious. Food is fun, food is social, but fuel? That’s boring LOL. She told me that the celebration is the people around the food, NOT the food itself. All week I kept reminding myself this, over and over again. I honestly believe that is what helped me get through yesterday. (but DAMN that baklava sure did look amazing)
Easter service was amazing. The music was beyond uplifting and I absolutely LOVE my Church! This year I decided to have one of the Easter lilies they use to decorate the Church dedicated to the memory of my Dad. It made me feel like he was a part of the service. They printed his name in the bulletin along with the other families who honored their loved ones. I’ve decided that I’m going to plant it next to the lily of the valley we planted this year that remind me of my Grandmother (his Mom). It will be a nice tribute I think, having them planted together.
I have been slacking with going to the gym the past couple weeks, so I have decided to make sure that I do a walk today, and get my butt back into the gym. I want to make sure that I make it there a minimum of twice a week. Ideally I’d like to go 4 times a week, 2 classes and 2 separate workouts, but for now I would be happy with actually going twice a week over not going at all.
I did get some good news when I went and saw my Endocrinologist last week. She performed a series of blood test earlier in the week to test my diabetes and my thyroid. She had given me a C-Peptide test about a year ago and determined that after all these years of thinking I was a type 2 diabetic, I was actually type 1. At the time it was discouraging news because it meant that even after my WLS I would probably never get of diabetic medicine. The positive side was that almost immediately after surgery I DID get off insulin and was only on Metformin. I spoke with my surgeon and he explained that he has seen many a patient’s pancreas recover and heal itself after WLS and to not lose hope. I went back to my ENDO and relayed the info and we both remained hopeful. Well, she redid a C-Peptide test and after only 2 months from my surgery, it is back up and I am now considered a type 2 diabetic again! This means that there IS hope that someday I WILL be able to be off my diabetes medicine! WHOHOOOO!
I did however get two bits of discouraging news from her during that same visit. First, she informed me that she is leaving the practice. Ok well, THAT SUCKS! I really grew to like her. Let’s face it, we bonded. She helped me get my A1C down from a 9.7 to a 6.2! She has worked with me when my thyroid issues ping ponging between hyper and hypothyroidism. UGH, I mean I wish her all the best, but I hate starting over with someone new if I’m going to be completely honest.
The second icky thing was that my thyroid decided to become hypothyroid again from hyper. What does that mean? Well its another medication adjustment and it’s also probably why I haven’t been losing weight as quickly as she thinks I should have been based on how my diet is and the surgery. I have been averaging a loss of 2-4lbs a week when some lose 1-2lbs a day. Hopefully with the medication adjustment and my getting back to the gym it’ll get me back on track. (not that I’m complaining about my progress at all.)
Speaking of progress…Yesterday after Church I took Ma to my friend Barb’s house and then we went over to her friend Phyllis’. Both of whom are like family to us. Now I haven’t seen Phyllis or her family (with the exception of her daughter and son) since my surgery. When I walked in the door, I was shocked when I was greeted with dropped jaws, looks of astonishment and compliments on how great I looked. They had me spin around and walk in the living room showing off my progress (50lbs so far) to everyone before I could even set my bags down! LOL Talk about a confidence booster. I felt like a star! Now I know I have lost weight but I don’t see major changes in the mirror so it felt AMAZING to get greeted like that! To be honest I’m kinda grinning while I’m typing because it’s still a feel good story for me.
I have definitely had my battles emotionally with food over the past couple months, but my victory yesterday and the reactions I received have given me a boost that I think I needed to kick it up a notch. I know this is going to be an ongoing journey, just as much mentally as it is physically, sometimes even more so, but I know I am up for the challenge!