Rewriting the Past

It’s funny how something can seem like yesterday and a lifetime, all at once, isn’t it?

November 1st; All Saints Day, the day my Dad died. I was 15, just 2 months shy of my 16th birthday when he passed away. So much has happened since that day. I graduated. Got married. Twice LOL. Lived all over the US. Owned a business. Been successful. Even mastered the art of Top Ramen. Reunited with loved ones and lost ones I loved.

Fall of ’75

Growing up, I’d love hearing stories about my Dad. There’s nothing quite like someone grabbing your arm, looking at you and saying, “I remember when your father…..”. It truly is a gift. Not too long ago my Aunt (Dad’s sister) moved to AZ and gave me some of my his things. It warmed my heart. I’ll always remember when I came to the realization of when I was alive longer without him than I was with him. Didn’t seem right, definitely wasn’t fair! My biggest regret was that I was too young when he passed. Not old enough to know him as an adult. He was only “Dad”. I never knew “John”. I always regretted that. But, I love hearing stories of him and his mischievous ways. I guess I inherited that trait from him.


Through the years I have enjoyed stumbling across things that have unlocked the mystery of who he was. Letters or notes he had written. Man lemme tell you…was his hand writing ever atrocious, LOL but he had a brilliant mind. Oh, and a passion to cook. I believe it stemmed from a place in his heart where he wanted to take care of people. Daddy wasn’t always good with words, but you always knew where you stood with him. He was a damn good cook too. I take pride in knowing I can cook like him. He loved fireworks and would put on an amazing show for the family every 4th of July (which also happened to be Grandma’s birthday). I also remember so many amazing things he did for our Church growing up. He was involved any way he could.

On October 13th 1988 My Dad went in the hospital. It was my Mom’s 41st birthday. The next day, October 14th he was diagnosed with Acute myeloid leukemia. 18 days later, November 1st 1988, my Dad passed away. 28 years ago today. He was 46 years old.

A couple months ago my doctor was nervous there were underlying issues going on and sent me for additional testing and referrals. It’s been very nerve-wracking while I went from doctor to doctor, test to test, and waited on bated breath for results. Today, on the 28th anniversary of my dad’s passing, I had my final appointment. I was all in my head that it was destined to be bad news. I’m 43. right on track to live out his same fate.daddyangel

Boy was I wrong. On all counts. Doc gave me an all clear!!! I sat my the car and thought to myself, maybe THAT was the fate. Maybe that’s why my appointment was today. To show me that I’m NOT destined to live his life. Just because he died at 46 doesn’t mean I will. Talk about Divine intervention. I have a guardian Angel, I call him Daddy!

One thing I do know is time is promised to nobody. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive those who’ve done you wrong and tell those you love that you love them. Today is a gift and should be celebrated.

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