When my mind is racing, and my thoughts get jumbled together, I love going for a drive. No set destination, just in the car with the stereo blasting.
This has been a way of dealing with things for decades. It started back when I owned my 1991 Nissan 300ZX 2+2. God, I loved that car. Sometimes just sitting in it made me feel better. I would wash and wax it 2x a week. I can sit here with my eyes closed and remember the feeling of the steering wheel, the smell of the leather and how the wind felt blowing through my hair when the t-tops were off.
I headed out with no destination. Felt the wind through the…sun roof. Ended up at Taco Bell. Got nachos for me and a quesadilla for Mike. Drove around and found myself at a gas station with a drive through car wash. Sat on my ass in my Jeep, smelling the nachos…then, eating my nachos, while I watched the wisher washer thingys go back and forth. LOL
Where did it all go? Before I had my whole life ahead of me…now I feel like any decision I make has the potential to ruin not only my life but so many others. To top it iff…now there is this pesky conscious hounding me and that is really pissing me off too LOL.
I was one of those kids who did everything she could to hurry and grow up. I was always being told…”Slow down Fran. A day will come when you wish you would have enjoyed your youth”. Guess I thought I didn’t have a happy childhood so I wanted to grow up and be in control as fast as possible…ummm, Backfire!
If only I was half as good as listening as I am at talking!